So I’m a little ADHD, so what?

Ever heard of the children’s series “If You Give A Pig a Pancake” and other books by Laura Numeroff? That is so ME.

If you give a Mom a cup of coffee, she’ll taste it and need to heat it up in the microwave. When she goes to the microwave she’ll notice it’s dirty. She’ll go to the laundry room to get some cleaner. In the laundry room she’ll see the iron-on transfers she was using for a Halloween costume. She’ll start cutting them out and ironing them on the costumes. The Halloween shirts will make her think of haunted houses. She’ll go in to the garage, get some plywood and a jigsaw, and start creating one. When she runs out of plywood, she’ll head for the store to go buy some more. On her way to the store, she’ll see a shoe sale at a really cute boutique. She’ll buy the prettiest shoes ever. The pretty shoes will remind her of a really cute picture she saw of a woman with really cute shoes on. She’ll go home and grab her camera. Her camera will have dozens of photos to download and photoshop so she’ll sit at her computer to work on them. Sitting at her computer, she will want a cup of coffee... 

Back with a Bang

Funny how hobbies rise and fall like the sun..

I used to blog, a year ago.

Then, I took a writing class and the teacher told me not to blog, but to save my work for possible publication. Well... that seemed like a good idea. I saved everything in folders. Never shared them. Never sent them out to get published, either. (well that’s no fun!)

Then, I took a photography class. That teacher told me:

create a blog.

So here I am. I’m baaaaa-aaaaaack!

Liquid Euphoria

Though I haven't exactly found euphoria yet after being on this juice diet for two days now, I do feel some changes:

1. Wednesday and Thursday I was feeling like crap. Sore throat, body aches, mild headaches. Since being on the juice diet. . . I feel much better. Yay. BUT-- was the change in health due to caffeine withdrawls? Perhaps.

2. And, like the book said, I have a strong desire to organize. Yesterday I took down all the Halloween decorations (and there were a lot-- 10 boxes, almost tops Christmas at 13), drug the 16-foot stage I built a few weeks ago all the way into the garage, then rearranged all the boxes to sit on top of it.

3. I have lost weight. I think 5 pounds in four days. And I'm certain that if I stick with the liquid diet I'll peek at 120, a number I haven't seen on the scale since college.

BUT..... I am starving. Cranky. Irritable. My skin itches. My stomach growls. I do not LIKE this 3-day cleanse at all. The juices are pretty yummy, with the exception of today's strawberry-grapefruit-mint concoction (I think there may have been too much grapefruit).

Then, there's the cost of all this, which isn't euphoric at all, but it does leave my head spinning. For example, my strawberry-grapefruit-mint juice cost me about $8.50. I, of course, used organic strawberries, at $6.99/pound, because if I'm detoxing, I don't want pesticides in my system, right? Sure. Whatever. But the "other" strawberries are friendlier with my wallet. And really, to waste all that produce on a drink I didn't even enjoy...

To eat at In-N-Out would cost about $5. Yuuuuuuum.

Liquid Euphoria. Hmmmmm.... I'll give it another day or two, until the heaps of greens in my refrigerator drawers run out. Then I'll replace them ... perhaps with BEER (my other kind of LIQUID EUPHORIA)!!!!

NO-vember

I am starting out the month with a detoxifying, three-day, juice-only cleanse. So far so good. No sugar, no alcohol, no caffeine, no processed foods. . .

Welcome to NO-vember.

I'm not doing it to lose weight, though shedding the bike tire stuck around my waist would be nice. I'm doing it to "start over"--rid my body of all toxins and just, well... see how I feel! Supposedly I'll feel more energetic, have better skin, and even gain a sense of euphoria.

Imagine that. . . a sense of euphoria. Without chardonnay? I'll have to wait and see.

I bought a juicer and have been in Whole Foods every day buying fresh veggies and fruits. The grocery bills are soaring. And for the heaping amounts of fruits and veggies I put into that machine (very expensive, organic-nly, might I add), only a few precious ounces come out at the other end. I gulp down the green goodness like I've just stepped off the set of Survivor. Tons of foliage equals sippy cup results.

But the book says it's cheaper than eating unhealthy and drinking alcohol. Maybe. But the latter is a hell of a lot more fun.

Quick Trip

I started to title this entry, "Quick Trip Home" then realized, Salinas isn't home anymore, is it?

I drove down Highway 68 with a lump in my throat. The autumn afternoon sun shone down on the massive maple leaves adorning the pastures on either side of the road. Mia and Cooper made their little innocent comments, "I remember this place," or "Mommy, did I grow up here?" as I fought hard to choke back the tears. As I passed miles of old barbed wire fences, I thought about blissful memories of the past thirteen years. The day was gorgeous. The air was crisp and golden. And I had to keep telling myself, "it isn't always like this."

I do love the weather in Santa Clarita. I love the heat. I love that there is actually a summer. And I love that summer stretches far into fall (and may even poke it's nose into winter). I love having a pool just steps from my back door. I love the stable where I board my horse. And I love my neighbors. God, I love my neighbors! (see previous post about hide-and-seek!)

But I miss the quaint, country charm of Salinas and the old buildings downtown. I miss the lush greenery. I miss that everybody knows each other somehow. I miss having ten acres of privacy and all of the smells and wild sounds and bright evening stars that go with the territory. I miss that Monterey and Carmel and all the shops and restaurants and wineries are only thirty minutes away. I miss having an elementary school that I don't have to worry about. And most of all, I miss my friends. God, I miss my friends.

Every time I return to Salinas I find myself doing two things: 1. I avoid driving to my old home like the plague, and 2. I am constantly outweighing the "pros" and "cons" of the two cities, just as I did here.

My old home will be rented out soon. Someone else will be living in the country retreat I spent years making a home. Someone else will be making memories on those tile floors, filling the large rooms with laughter and enjoying the sights and smells of the oaky knoll.

In a way it's a good thing. It just buys me more time to outweigh the "pros" and "cons" of each town.

Hurdles

So I made it past the 3:00pm hurdle and didn't crack open a bottle. I ate healthy all day, following the 1,000-calorie Brazilian Butt Lift diet. I drank lots of water, too. But at 6:00pm I tripped over a hurdle and fell. Hard.

I was on the phone with a good friend of mine from Salinas, laughing and chatting away, when I absent-mindedly reached for a bottle of cabernet and popped it open. I sipped it's rich redness while gossiping away, seated in a lawn chair in the cul-de-sac. Hurdle: 1, Alli: 0

For dinner, I had a small bowl of butternut squash soup and two slices of quesadilla. The soup adheres to the diet; the cheesy goodness smooshed between the toasty tortillas? Not so much. Hurdle: 2, Alli: 0

But then... I took it a step further. As usual.

The kids were enjoying large mounds of Ben-n-Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream. After scooping out the creamy goodness for them, I divulged upon the rest. One half-pint of dairy wonder down the hatch. As I drifted into euphoria, I read the back of the carton: "we made the world's first batch of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream in 1984, inspired by a customer's anonymous note on our scoop shop's suggestion board." Hmm. Interesting fact. That's good party trivia, I thought. I'm so glad I ate this ice cream, otherwise I would have never known that!

But not once did I think about turning the carton around to reveal the nutrition information; the frightening reality that I had just doubled the 270-calorie serving size into 540 mindless, vengeful calories that would soon be residing... on my ass.

Hurdle: 3, Alli: 0

Brazilian Butt Lift Diet, you are kicking my ass. In all the wrong ways.

Slimming the Bum Bum

I ordered the "Brazilian Butt Lift" workout from the internet-- sixty bucks for three DVD's and a meal plan. About a month ago I tried the six-day, 1,000-calorie meal plan and failed after day two.

I tried again yesterday and only made it to 3:00, when I opened a bottle of wine and paired it with chips and pineapple salsa.

Today I am trying again. High fiber cereal in the morning so far and ONE cup of coffee. Then, the Bum Bum workout (pronounced Boom Boom).

Yes, Bum Bum. Thirty four agonous minutes in front of the tv and my BUM BUM is on fire.

My friend Natalie Flightner posted something on her Facebook wall that said,

So... how's this....???

I think this proves I trained SUPER HARD!!!!